10. Now You See Me
The only thing I love more than movies is magic. Seriously, if I’m not watching a movie, I’m surfing YouTube for old David Copperfield specials. Believe the hype, guys. Now You See Me delivers. Plus, it has that cute red head from Wedding Crashers.
9. World War Z
I guess John forgot to include this on his list, so I’m putting it on mine. What gives, man? Didn’t you see this thing like seven times? Anyway, I wasn’t impressed.
8. The Great Gatsby
Like CliffsNotes, but without the reading. Perfect for non-readers like me.
7. (tie) Pain & Gain, Fast & Furious 6
Why the tie? One reason: The Rock. This guy absolutely killed it this year and there’s no way I can rank one of his films above another. So sad that he passed away. We’ll miss you, pal!
6. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
The most patriotic film of the year — a must-see if you’re an American!
I haven’t watched it yet, but Netflix says I’d like it based on my viewing habits.
4. After Earth
Move over, George Lucas! There’s a new king of sci-fi, and his name is Shyamalan. (John, is this right? I thought Night was working on his Airbender sequels.)
3. The Hangover 3
If there’s one thing this trilogy proved, it’s that too much of a good thing is A-OK. My favorite comedy series after the Police Academy films.
2. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Fuck Harry Potter.
1. Nymphomaniac: Volume 1
Holy shit, there’s a movie called Nymphomaniac! How did I miss this? Was it a limited release? With a title like that I’m sure it’s great, so it gets my #1 spot.