The Critics Agree has exclusively learned that Marvel will be making Captain America black and turning Thor into a woman. This is not a drill.
While reactions online split between celebrating diversity or petulant racism, we here at TCA had one thing on our minds: the eventual movie adaptations.
We couldn’t help but start fantasy casting. Here are some of our odds-on favorites for the roles:
BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Pros: Funny. Up-and-comer. Rapper. Black.
Cons: Already passed over for Spider-Man. Can he carry a superhero film?
Pros: Experienced. Wise. Box office draw.
Cons: 67 years old.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Pros: Former wrestler.
Cons: Former wrestler.
Pros: Widely identified as Captain America.
Pros: Honorary black person. Former president, so he was technically the former captain of America.
Cons: Not actually black. Not an actor.
OUR GUESS: Chris Evans. He’s proven at the box office, and Marvel will be applauded for thinking outside of the box in casting a white actor for a black role.
Pros: Everyone loves her.
Cons: Audiences could confuse Thor for Gwen Stacy. Might bring Andrew Garfield to set.
Pros: She’s so hot right now. Would diversify her brand.
Cons: None come to mind.
Pros: Mega-star. Already ripped.
Cons: Might insist on soundtrack appearance. British accent.
Pros: Never been more popular.
Cons: Has never appeared in a comic book movie.
Pros: Has experience playing a woman.
Cons: Might be too funny for the role.
OUR GUESS: Jennifer Lawrence. Obviously.