I thought we had a good talk last week about what it means to be a movie lover. Loving movies isn’t just about loving movies; you have to support them too. Art is nothing without money. And y’all have simply stopped spending money.
Looks like we should have been impressed with Ouija almost making $20 million last weekend, because Nightcrawler barely made $10 million this weekend. What the fuck? Seriously, like, we wonder—
Hey, are you listening to us? Pay attention. This is not a joke.
Start going to the movies, people. Or else one day, the movies are going to get up, walk out, and you’ll never hear from the movies again, except for the occasional Christmas card. Not even a card every year, though. Just every few years. The movies won’t even remember that often. The cards will dwindle. 2 years become 3. 4 years become 5.
Based on these startling trends, our predictions for next week:
1. Interstellar — $6.1 million
2. Big Hero 6 – $4 million
3. Nightcrawler – $1.1 million
4. Ouija — $600 thousand
5. Merry Friggin’ Christmas — A sandwich.